Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Four minutes until I can fart!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Found your dick twin last night
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
