youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize