I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She needs sedatives and a leash
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
