why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
