Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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