Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
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