ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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