um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
