You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
