I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize