I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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