Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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