For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
