I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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