she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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