Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
