guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
