So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I had to cum in my sink.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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