She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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