I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
