DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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