I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.