Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
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There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This is my gift to your gina
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Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.