I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"