yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine