So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever