You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet