Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.