Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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