I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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