Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My life is pants optional.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize