you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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