It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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