I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
