Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
