Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
