my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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