Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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