hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
