I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
