no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
