booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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