1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
