Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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