I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize