I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
