next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
