and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
