Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
