Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
