I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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