is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
