are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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