I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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