But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
