I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
