you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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