apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
