Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
