When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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