Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
