An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
