its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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