Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
