Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
ugly people sure do ruin things
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
