I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
