Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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