The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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