Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
