theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
