dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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