What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
