LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
