i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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