I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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