Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
time to smoke my breakfast
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
