the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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