me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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