i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My ATM looks so different sober.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
