I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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