We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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