Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
