she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
