dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
