I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
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Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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