I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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