seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
